Parent Resources

More and more people are turning towards the internet in order to search for information regarding the various preschool options. However, few of them are able to get the desired information. Yes, the perfect webpage to answer all your queries regarding the preschool is out there! The problem lies in the method of searching employed by the people. Most parents tend to use a search engine when searching for such information. They usually type a few words in the Query Box and then start scrolling through all the possible matches the search page displays. Search Phrase Usually, the words chosen to conduct the search play a very crucial role in finding the best-possible results. Typing in a vague phrase like — admission in playschool + kidzee, will lead to many off-target web pages that don’t deal with the required information. In fact, on most search engines, this phrase would list various websites that contain some articles/information related to Kidzee. This is because search engines are unable to decipher as to what is the exact nature of the query, from such a search phrase. The search phrase — ‘admission in playschool + kidzee’ could be interpreted as information sought related to: 1. Admissions in Kidzee 2. Some general information about Kidzee 3. What things should parents check out when seeking admissions for their child in a playschool? or 4. What are the issues related to admission in a playschool. Neither does conducting search with the term — admission in playschool + kidzee, lead to the main website of Kidzee. This is because the search term itself is too generic. The solution to this confusion is rather easy. • If a parent is seeking information about admission in Kidzee, then the search term has to be more specific like — admission in kidzee or “admission” kidzee. Both these search terms essentially lead to the main website of Kidzee, providing the necessary information on the page related to admissions. • However, if the parents are searching for information regarding issues like the appropriate age, things to check-out, etc. for admission to playschools, they could key in the phrase — admission in playschool — in the Search Box. After having gone through the articles/information related to playschool admissions, the parents could then seek further information regarding the playschool of their choice by typing in the name of the playschool in the search box, which would invariably lead to the main website of that playschool.

There are various methods of searching for the best-suited preschool for your child. Some parents make such decisions based the various forms of advertising that are used in the media, while some depend upon the feedback they receive from parents who already have children enrolled in a preschool. Many parents use the online option when searching for a preschool for their child. A common method of searching about a particular brand of preschool in Delhi is to type-in the name of the school, preceded by the main nature of the enquiry and lastly, the location is typed in. For example, keying in a search phrase like — admission age mother’s pride new Delhi — will initially list websites that are directly related to Mother’s Pride, followed by other websites that would be attuned to subjects like, the age for admission, perfect age for admission and even listings of websites highlighting the term ‘New Delhi’. Thus, it becomes apparent that the search term — admission age mother’s pride new delhi — doesn’t list the websites that provide the accurate and sought after information. So, what is the best approach towards making an online search for a parent? A Better Alternative The best and perhaps the easiest way to go about searching for information related to any preschool is to visit the main website of that particular preschool. Thus, instead of typing-in — admission age mother’s pride new delhi, a better option would be to type-in the brand of preschool or the preschool name, followed by a comma, followed by the city/location of your preference. For example, a search term like — mother\’s pride, new delhi or shemrock, new delhi would invariably bring you to that preschool’s main website. Now, the parents can not only checkout the various locations/availability of that preschool in New Delhi but also get a better idea about the activities and facilities that are provided by the preschool and any new changes in the curriculum/certification/affiliation that the preschool has incorporated. Further parents would realise that the availability of some facilities might vary from branch-to-branch. Most of the main websites of preschools are very informative in this regard. For example, Shemrock’s main website lists every kind of information that would be sought by a parent including — • Admission information • Activities and facilities • The education system at shemrock • Contact details • Resources for Parents and even • A Franchise Section Buzz up!

Overparenting is sometimes also called hyper-parenting. Both the terms signify the same thing — a wrong parenting style. It refers to a parenting style in which parents are overly-involved with their children. Such parents are often seen fighting at the school games or arguing with the school-coach because they felt that their kid was undermined in some way. Such parents are overly competitive and would go to the extent of writing and doing their child’s homework and assignments. A small drop in the child’s test scores is equivalent of the world ending for them. Hyperparenting is not limited to the big cities only. Over-ambitious parents are found in small towns and rural areas also. Basically, such parents are over-involved, over-controlling, too demanding and obsessive. Concerned Parenting versus Hyperparenting It is not uncommon to find parents who are very concerned about their child. The increasing stress in our daily lives and the ever-growing ambitions and frustrations of the parents often leads to a tendency of being preoccupied with the achievements and performance of one’s child. Many such parents feel that succeeding in every subject and every sphere of activity at school is an absolute necessity. They begin to associate the child’s success as their own. Concerned parenting is essential for being good parents, but when the concern of a parent turns into a fixation, it turns into something ugly — hyperparenting. Seeking Perfection An obsessive parent can be understood as someone who seeks perfection. This perfection should be reflected in both individual output as a capable parent and his child’s performance in terms of being a perfect student, an outperformer. Such parents are very determined to make every possible sacrifice for their child’s education. They begin to micromanage every aspect of the child’s life including social and academic aspects. Children of Over-involved Parents • Such obsessive parents don’t allow the child to take any independent decision. Thus, the children develop little self-confidence. The 24×7 scheduling and analysis done by the parents makes the child vulnerable to be acutely self-critical. • Children of such parents might also develop trust issues. They could start believing that the parent doesn’t trust them at all. Usually such children grow into over-dependent, hypercritical and untrusting individuals.

This is because of a very simple cause — children are just too young to be able to modulate or alter their emotions. They cannot exercise the same level of control as parents. Two-to-four-year-olds try to express their frustration via these angry outbursts. Children this age can’t express their needs or feelings to their parents or caregivers and tend to develop a kind of nervous energy, i.e. anxiety or anger. Adults too have the tendency of temper outbursts but they can usually control their frequency or the acuteness of such emotional outbreaks. Parents could follow a few tips in order to take control when their children present such situations. • Staying Calm The very first and most elementary of advices while handling an angry, irritated child is for the parents to stay calm and composed. The parents should acknowledge the child’s feelings which could be either of frustration, boredom or tiredness. They shouldn’t engage the child in a long conversation regarding how he feels. Rather parents should keep the dialogue short and communicate to the child that they are willing to help. It is advisable, when handling irritated toddlers, to have some of distraction distract the child. Parents could try and use some treat like his favourite chocolate shake to calm the child. • The Wiser Approach No matter how helpless the parents feel themselves, they shouldn’t reward a child’s repeated tantrum with too much attention. The idea behind is that the child shouldn’t start believing behaving angrily is just an easy way to garner the parent’s attraction or an easy treat. Secondly, the parents are a child’s perspective of what is good. Thus, the parents themselves can’t behave inappropriately. Sometimes neither of the above-mentioned steps seems to work and then the parents have only option, i.e. to leave the child alone. How to Avoid Tantrums? Tantrums are a sign of a child’s anger, frustration or something that is making the child very uncomfortable. In this context, it is important to realise what is the child’s tolerance level. The parents should work upon it and try and raise his level of tolerance against stressful situations and train him to be a calmer and more confident individual. One easy way of doing this is complimenting and rewarding the child’s good behaviour.

Parents should use all or a combination of these four basic ways to tackle child-related problems. Raising the Child’s Self-Esteem • Small things like a parent’s tone of voice, the usual body language and facial expressions make an impact on the child. Such things affect the child’s perspective of the world around him and play a major role in developing his personality. • Praising the smallest of child’s achievements however small they may be would improve his self-confidence and make him more confident of his abilities. This feeling of personal pride eventually reflects in the form of raised self-esteem. On the contrary, disparaging remarks and comments or constant comparison and negative speech makes the child feel worthless and look down upon himself. • When the child makes a mistake and it is apparent that he feels bad about it, don’t try and scold him or make him feel even more guilty of himself. This would induce the fear of making mistakes and make him prone to developing self-conflicting issues. Are you an Escapist? Some parents are guilty of venting out their frustrations or anger by shouting or being hyper-critical about the child. This kind of a negative parenting attitude makes the child feel unwanted. The child shouldn’t become an escape mechanism for the parents. The parents need to deal with their own set of problems and make sure that the child’s innocence is not hampered by their own disappointments in life. The children shouldn’t be used as a tool for achieving what a parent failed to do so himself/herself. The child’s ambition and freedom should be give priority. Discipline isn’t a Choice • The main purpose of disciplining the child is to make sure that he develops the right set of moral values, attitude, aptitude and manners. Children themselves are unable to identify the need for rules and regulations but it is the responsibility of the parent to make sure that the child isn’t getting away with too many liberties. An excess of freedom at one point in childhood could backfire as the child develops a mind of his own and doesn’t respect the opinion of his parents anymore. • Rules aren’t just for the child. The parents should be sincere enough to present themselves as good role models. Once this is established, the child has practically no excuse to break the house rules or consistently disobey his parents. Make Time for Your Children • Modern lives are very busy and it is difficult for parents and children to do simple things together like having a family meal but such simple family activities are essential and from the basis for parent-child bonding. • Parents can created a ‘special night’ every two weeks to get together and let the children decide what TV programme or movie they want to watch. • Parents who can’t meet their children in the morning could put a note in the child’s study room or in the kitchen with a few words of encouragement written on it. • Parents should look out for opportunities like attending the school concerts and games to make the child feel special and appreciated.

At the time of birth infants have an in-built protection against a number of diseases because of the large number of antibodies that pass through the placenta from the mother’s womb to the child. Breast-fed babies continue to get the same benefits due to the numerous antibodies found in breast milk. However, these antibodies can’t guarantee protection against every disease and this is why vaccination is needed. Vaccines are used to increase the strength of the child’s immune system. Some vaccines do cause mild side effects including soreness at the point of the injection but these aren’t serious when compared to the effects of the deadly diseases they protect against. Commonly-recommended Vaccinations for Children  • DTP, i.e. diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. • IPV for polio. • Influenza • MMR, i.e. measles, mumps and rubella. • Chickenpox • Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B DTP Vaccine • Diphtheria — it is a very serious infection of the throat that can block the air passage. This causes severe breathing difficulties in children. • Tetanus or lockjaw — this is a very serious nerve disease. It can occur at any age and is caused by toxin-producing bacteria that are found in common wounds. • Pertussis or whooping cough — it is a common respiratory illness and has cold-like symptoms. This leads to severe coughing or a ‘whooping’ sound. This sound occurs because the child breathes deeply after the coughing bouts. The complications of pertussis occur in children under the age of one and those under the age of 6 months are very susceptible. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The vaccine has been so successful that it has virtually eliminated diphtheria and tetanus among children. IPV-Polio • Polio begins as a viral infection that could eventually lead to permanent paralysis in children. • Immunization Schedule — the immunization schedule includes giving the poliovirus vaccine or IPV at different stages, i.e. at the ages of 2 months, 4 months, 6 to 18 months and then between 4 to 6 years. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? Protection against polio occurs in more than 95% of children immunized. Influenza Vaccine • Influenza is commonly referred to as the flu and is a contagious viral infection of the respiratory airway. Contracting this disease could prove fatal for the children. • Immunization Schedule — the flu shot is given in a fixed schedule which includes shots when the child is 6 – 59 months old. For kids below the age of nine, two separate shots are given at an interval of a month. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The flu vaccine isn’t completely effective but it reduces the person’s chances of contracting flu by nearly 80%. Getting a shot, gives the body some sort of immunity against the virus. MMR Vaccine • The MMR vaccine immunizes against measles, mumps and the deadly rubella virus. • Immunization Schedule — the MMR vaccinations are delivered in two separate doses. The first does is administered between the age of 12 – 15 months and the second between 4 to 6 years. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? Measles, mumps and rubella are infections which later lead to many complicated illness. The vaccine is extremely effective in protecting the child. Varicella or the Chickenpox Vaccine • The varicella vaccine helps to protect against chickenpox — a common and very contagious viral illness. • Immunization Schedule — the vaccine is given by injection between the age of 12 to 18 months. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The vaccine is effective enough to prevent severe illness in nearly 95% of children who get immunized in time. Hepatitis A Vaccine • The hepatitis A virus or the HAV causes a number of symptoms which usually occur together. These include fever, nausea, vomiting and jaundice. If not controlled, the infection can spread and cause an epidemic. • Immunization Schedule — the vaccine is ideally administered to children 12 to 23 months old. A second dose follows, 6 months later. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? Vaccination against HAV is vital because even infected children many not have any of the above symptoms for a long period. This is a life-saving vaccine. Hepatitis B Vaccine • Hepatitis B virus or the HBV affects the liver. The infected child becomes a lifelong carrier of the virus. This leads to problems like cirrhosis or degeneration the liver or liver cancer. • Immunization Schedule — this vaccine is given in a set of three injections. The first shot is given to infants, just after birth. The second shot is administered between the age of 1 – 4 months and the third at the age of 6 to 18 months. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The hepatitis B vaccine has been very successful and gives extended immunity to the child. This kind of immunity carries from childhood to adulthood. This decreases the risk of getting any kind of chronic liver disease.

A Reality Check for Parents One really difficult challenge that is faced by each parent, especially those with really young children, is teaching the children to be cautious when outside the safety of home. The reality about most child abductions is different from the dramatic way in which they are portrayed on TV. These are some of the realities regarding child abductions — • A majority of children reported missing are those who have either run away from home or there is a misunderstanding with the parents about where they were supposed to be. • The majority of children are abducted or kidnapped by someone familiar or a far-away family member or some family acquaintance. Only 25% of kids are kidnapped by absolute strangers. • Most children are kidnapped by men and most abductions involve female children. • Mostly teenaged children are abducted. • Children are seldom abducted from the school premises. Strategies to Fight Child Abductions • The parents should keep ID-like updated photographs of their children, i.e. get them clicked every six months. Getting the children fingerprinted is an excellent idea. These two measures serve as a big assistance to the local police department in case the child is reported missing. • Being careful about online safety. The internet is a big help to everyone but in the case of kids it is a breeding ground for sexual predators stalking them. Parents should keep a tract of the child’s chat room interests, e-mail friends and the sites often visited. Make sure that that the child never gives out personal information. Children should avoid posting their photos on adult-themed sites. • Supervise the children in crowded places like malls, markets, movie halls, parks and public bathrooms. • Never leave a child alone in the car, even for a few minutes. For a serial kidnapper, it takes barely 3 to 4 minutes to abduct a child aged between 4 and 7. • Choosing the child’s caregivers – parents should keep a keen eye of the people with whom the child interacts including babysitters, neighbourhood friends, day-care providers and nannies. Check out references of domestic helps before hiring them. • If someone else is scheduled to pick-up the child from the school or childcare centre, explain the arrangements of travelling and being picked up to the child. Ask the child not to deviate from the instructions, no matter what. • Don’t dress children with name tags — children tend to easily trust adults who address them with their real names. • Make some ground rules for children. Instruct them to never to hold hands or talk with a stranger. If a stranger tries to touch them, the children should scream out loud. Such precautions have to be instilled in the children by the parents.

Parents face a problem of sharing time with their children. Fewer hours spent with a child translates into lesser ability to understand and comprehend the issues faced by the children. Children feel isolated and thus start taking more independent decisions. This excess of liberty eventually means that they have an increased tendency to disobey their peers and parents. Media’s Role The vacuum created by the parents has been filled in by the satellite channels, television stations, magazines and radio stations. Children are turning to this medium to use it as a guiding tool to make their decisions. There has been a sudden explosion of violence, gore and showcase of self-righteous celebrities on television. This has made the children more antisocial and aggressive and moral values are being lost. Coping with the Challenge Parents should make a planned effort to raise responsible children. The parents have to understand the importance of finding a more flexible parental approach and avoid any extremes. Parenting has to be a balancing act between a number of emotions and issues like— • Balancing Control and Affection The children respond better to parents who can balance affection with some level of parental authority. The affection has to be in the form of love and warmth and quality family time. But it should be accompanied with an appropriate level of parental control. The parents have to limit the children from taking undue advantage of their liberties. Parents should use their own example as a guiding plan to help the children when they are in distress. This kind of balance ensures scope for individual development and increased self-esteem in the child without compromising on the respect for parents. • Balancing Family Time Toddlers do need a lot of time and physical affection. As the children grow, such needs become less. But parents shouldn’t abstain from praising their children. Children who have some kind of regular positive interaction with parents or have access to quality parent time are more confident and perform better, academically. Just talking with the child about his school day or games can help strengthen the parent-child relationship. However , spending time with children shouldn’t mean giving into every whim and fancy of the child or let the child blabber on, without putting up a decent argument.

The child’s doctor is often not given his due importance by parents. Usually the doctors are overscheduled and finding enough time just to meet them seems like an arduous task to most parents. However, effective communication with the family doctor or the specialist taking care on one’s child could have a lot of advantages, especially when trying to find out what is best for the child’s health and getting an insight into the way a child thinks or any secrets that the child may be keeping from his parents. Doctor-Parent Relationship Health information is more readily available than before and parents keep themselves informed via the internet, books and TV. This is a welcome change, because now parents can contribute in their child’s healthcare. However, the parents might do too much of their own thinking and get hooked on to misplaced health information. Parents shouldn’t question the authority of the doctor based upon such information. However, they should ask the doctor about the purpose of a medication or a health plan he has prescribed for the child. Another common problem that parents have with the child’s doctor is their own unwillingness to trust the doctor’s diagnosis. Such hypochondriac parents may seek expensive or high-strength drugs for common ailments of their child and may start arguing with the doctor. Communicating with the Doctor For better communication with the child’s doctor, the parents should be clear about what to expect from the doctor. A concerned but informed parent should look upon a doctor to • Help in monitoring the child’s health. • Explain the child’s growth and development patterns – physical and emotional. • Diagnose and treat the child’s illnesses and devise a health regimen for the child. • Explain the child’s illnesses and the course of treatment including the precautions. • Provide referrals for specialists in case of specific symptoms or major illnesses. Some pointers for parents — • The doctor should feel that the parents actually trust him with their child’s health. It isn’t a wide decision to argue with the doctor for each of his decisions or diagnoses. Developing and maintaining this parent-doctor trust is very critical. • When the doctor asks about the child’s health, the parents should explain the actual and not ‘supposed’ concerns, specifically and clearly. • Parents should tell the doctor about any abnormal symptom the child has shown or drastic changes in the family life like parent’s divorce or death in the family.

Time-out is basically a disciplining strategy that can be employed by parents. Here, the child is asked to spend a few moments, usually 4 to 7 minutes, alone in a room. He is asked not to play or talk but rather think about what he/she has done wrong and why the punishment is being handed out. This is a form of self-realisation and a mild disciplining tool. Time-outs can be very effective as a non-violent and not-too-harsh punishment. The fear of hurting the child is eliminated. The concept is based on evoking the feelings of guilt to make the child realise his mistake. Temperamental Parenting? Many parents have realised that time-outs don’t work for their child. This is because of different individual temperaments. Temperament-based parenting doesn’t insist upon using time-outs. Every child is unique and has a different personality. Temperamental parenting is able to solve some child-related problems that time-outs don’t seem to. Stuck with Time-outs? Repetitive behavioural pattern isn’t solved by using repetitive time-outs. These can easily frustrate a parent as they occur often and a similar punishment, i.e. using a time-out doesn’t solve the problem. If a child consistently fails to bring home the things needed to do an assignment, the parents are left feeling helpless. A repetitive time-out pattern could make the child lose confidence in the parent’s capabilities. Temperament-based Parenting Strategies Temperament-based strategy encourages the parents to develop a plan which is communicated to the child. The plan includes a signal or verbal reminder as the primary step. In cases of non-compliance, taking away a privilege from the child is recommended. If the misbehaviour still continues more privileges including allowances and playtime are taken away. Main Principles of Temperamental Parenting • Temperament also involves the intrinsic parts of a child’s behaviour pattern. • Many temperament responses are obvious because they manifest due to a child’s behaviour. • Temperament is more apparent in circumstances that involve a sudden change or stress. Challenging situations elicit more honest temperamental responses. • Task persistence is nothing else but a child’s tendency to stick with a task until it’s done. • Negative reaction is because of the child’s inability to make suitable judgements. • Temperament doesn’t change easily and quickly. • Approach and withdrawal are the child’s first reaction to new situations.