Author name: shemford

Parents should use all or a combination of these four basic ways to tackle child-related problems. Raising the Child’s Self-Esteem • Small things like a parent’s tone of voice, the usual body language and facial expressions make an impact on the child. Such things affect the child’s perspective of the world around him and play a major role in developing his personality. • Praising the smallest of child’s achievements however small they may be would improve his self-confidence and make him more confident of his abilities. This feeling of personal pride eventually reflects in the form of raised self-esteem. On the contrary, disparaging remarks and comments or constant comparison and negative speech makes the child feel worthless and look down upon himself. • When the child makes a mistake and it is apparent that he feels bad about it, don’t try and scold him or make him feel even more guilty of himself. This would induce the fear of making mistakes and make him prone to developing self-conflicting issues. Are you an Escapist? Some parents are guilty of venting out their frustrations or anger by shouting or being hyper-critical about the child. This kind of a negative parenting attitude makes the child feel unwanted. The child shouldn’t become an escape mechanism for the parents. The parents need to deal with their own set of problems and make sure that the child’s innocence is not hampered by their own disappointments in life. The children shouldn’t be used as a tool for achieving what a parent failed to do so himself/herself. The child’s ambition and freedom should be give priority. Discipline isn’t a Choice • The main purpose of disciplining the child is to make sure that he develops the right set of moral values, attitude, aptitude and manners. Children themselves are unable to identify the need for rules and regulations but it is the responsibility of the parent to make sure that the child isn’t getting away with too many liberties. An excess of freedom at one point in childhood could backfire as the child develops a mind of his own and doesn’t respect the opinion of his parents anymore. • Rules aren’t just for the child. The parents should be sincere enough to present themselves as good role models. Once this is established, the child has practically no excuse to break the house rules or consistently disobey his parents. Make Time for Your Children • Modern lives are very busy and it is difficult for parents and children to do simple things together like having a family meal but such simple family activities are essential and from the basis for parent-child bonding. • Parents can created a ‘special night’ every two weeks to get together and let the children decide what TV programme or movie they want to watch. • Parents who can’t meet their children in the morning could put a note in the child’s study room or in the kitchen with a few words of encouragement written on it. • Parents should look out for opportunities like attending the school concerts and games to make the child feel special and appreciated.

At the time of birth infants have an in-built protection against a number of diseases because of the large number of antibodies that pass through the placenta from the mother’s womb to the child. Breast-fed babies continue to get the same benefits due to the numerous antibodies found in breast milk. However, these antibodies can’t guarantee protection against every disease and this is why vaccination is needed. Vaccines are used to increase the strength of the child’s immune system. Some vaccines do cause mild side effects including soreness at the point of the injection but these aren’t serious when compared to the effects of the deadly diseases they protect against. Commonly-recommended Vaccinations for Children  • DTP, i.e. diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. • IPV for polio. • Influenza • MMR, i.e. measles, mumps and rubella. • Chickenpox • Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B DTP Vaccine • Diphtheria — it is a very serious infection of the throat that can block the air passage. This causes severe breathing difficulties in children. • Tetanus or lockjaw — this is a very serious nerve disease. It can occur at any age and is caused by toxin-producing bacteria that are found in common wounds. • Pertussis or whooping cough — it is a common respiratory illness and has cold-like symptoms. This leads to severe coughing or a ‘whooping’ sound. This sound occurs because the child breathes deeply after the coughing bouts. The complications of pertussis occur in children under the age of one and those under the age of 6 months are very susceptible. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The vaccine has been so successful that it has virtually eliminated diphtheria and tetanus among children. IPV-Polio • Polio begins as a viral infection that could eventually lead to permanent paralysis in children. • Immunization Schedule — the immunization schedule includes giving the poliovirus vaccine or IPV at different stages, i.e. at the ages of 2 months, 4 months, 6 to 18 months and then between 4 to 6 years. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? Protection against polio occurs in more than 95% of children immunized. Influenza Vaccine • Influenza is commonly referred to as the flu and is a contagious viral infection of the respiratory airway. Contracting this disease could prove fatal for the children. • Immunization Schedule — the flu shot is given in a fixed schedule which includes shots when the child is 6 – 59 months old. For kids below the age of nine, two separate shots are given at an interval of a month. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The flu vaccine isn’t completely effective but it reduces the person’s chances of contracting flu by nearly 80%. Getting a shot, gives the body some sort of immunity against the virus. MMR Vaccine • The MMR vaccine immunizes against measles, mumps and the deadly rubella virus. • Immunization Schedule — the MMR vaccinations are delivered in two separate doses. The first does is administered between the age of 12 – 15 months and the second between 4 to 6 years. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? Measles, mumps and rubella are infections which later lead to many complicated illness. The vaccine is extremely effective in protecting the child. Varicella or the Chickenpox Vaccine • The varicella vaccine helps to protect against chickenpox — a common and very contagious viral illness. • Immunization Schedule — the vaccine is given by injection between the age of 12 to 18 months. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The vaccine is effective enough to prevent severe illness in nearly 95% of children who get immunized in time. Hepatitis A Vaccine • The hepatitis A virus or the HAV causes a number of symptoms which usually occur together. These include fever, nausea, vomiting and jaundice. If not controlled, the infection can spread and cause an epidemic. • Immunization Schedule — the vaccine is ideally administered to children 12 to 23 months old. A second dose follows, 6 months later. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? Vaccination against HAV is vital because even infected children many not have any of the above symptoms for a long period. This is a life-saving vaccine. Hepatitis B Vaccine • Hepatitis B virus or the HBV affects the liver. The infected child becomes a lifelong carrier of the virus. This leads to problems like cirrhosis or degeneration the liver or liver cancer. • Immunization Schedule — this vaccine is given in a set of three injections. The first shot is given to infants, just after birth. The second shot is administered between the age of 1 – 4 months and the third at the age of 6 to 18 months. • Why is the Vaccine Recommended? The hepatitis B vaccine has been very successful and gives extended immunity to the child. This kind of immunity carries from childhood to adulthood. This decreases the risk of getting any kind of chronic liver disease.

A Reality Check for Parents One really difficult challenge that is faced by each parent, especially those with really young children, is teaching the children to be cautious when outside the safety of home. The reality about most child abductions is different from the dramatic way in which they are portrayed on TV. These are some of the realities regarding child abductions — • A majority of children reported missing are those who have either run away from home or there is a misunderstanding with the parents about where they were supposed to be. • The majority of children are abducted or kidnapped by someone familiar or a far-away family member or some family acquaintance. Only 25% of kids are kidnapped by absolute strangers. • Most children are kidnapped by men and most abductions involve female children. • Mostly teenaged children are abducted. • Children are seldom abducted from the school premises. Strategies to Fight Child Abductions • The parents should keep ID-like updated photographs of their children, i.e. get them clicked every six months. Getting the children fingerprinted is an excellent idea. These two measures serve as a big assistance to the local police department in case the child is reported missing. • Being careful about online safety. The internet is a big help to everyone but in the case of kids it is a breeding ground for sexual predators stalking them. Parents should keep a tract of the child’s chat room interests, e-mail friends and the sites often visited. Make sure that that the child never gives out personal information. Children should avoid posting their photos on adult-themed sites. • Supervise the children in crowded places like malls, markets, movie halls, parks and public bathrooms. • Never leave a child alone in the car, even for a few minutes. For a serial kidnapper, it takes barely 3 to 4 minutes to abduct a child aged between 4 and 7. • Choosing the child’s caregivers – parents should keep a keen eye of the people with whom the child interacts including babysitters, neighbourhood friends, day-care providers and nannies. Check out references of domestic helps before hiring them. • If someone else is scheduled to pick-up the child from the school or childcare centre, explain the arrangements of travelling and being picked up to the child. Ask the child not to deviate from the instructions, no matter what. • Don’t dress children with name tags — children tend to easily trust adults who address them with their real names. • Make some ground rules for children. Instruct them to never to hold hands or talk with a stranger. If a stranger tries to touch them, the children should scream out loud. Such precautions have to be instilled in the children by the parents.

Parents face a problem of sharing time with their children. Fewer hours spent with a child translates into lesser ability to understand and comprehend the issues faced by the children. Children feel isolated and thus start taking more independent decisions. This excess of liberty eventually means that they have an increased tendency to disobey their peers and parents. Media’s Role The vacuum created by the parents has been filled in by the satellite channels, television stations, magazines and radio stations. Children are turning to this medium to use it as a guiding tool to make their decisions. There has been a sudden explosion of violence, gore and showcase of self-righteous celebrities on television. This has made the children more antisocial and aggressive and moral values are being lost. Coping with the Challenge Parents should make a planned effort to raise responsible children. The parents have to understand the importance of finding a more flexible parental approach and avoid any extremes. Parenting has to be a balancing act between a number of emotions and issues like— • Balancing Control and Affection The children respond better to parents who can balance affection with some level of parental authority. The affection has to be in the form of love and warmth and quality family time. But it should be accompanied with an appropriate level of parental control. The parents have to limit the children from taking undue advantage of their liberties. Parents should use their own example as a guiding plan to help the children when they are in distress. This kind of balance ensures scope for individual development and increased self-esteem in the child without compromising on the respect for parents. • Balancing Family Time Toddlers do need a lot of time and physical affection. As the children grow, such needs become less. But parents shouldn’t abstain from praising their children. Children who have some kind of regular positive interaction with parents or have access to quality parent time are more confident and perform better, academically. Just talking with the child about his school day or games can help strengthen the parent-child relationship. However , spending time with children shouldn’t mean giving into every whim and fancy of the child or let the child blabber on, without putting up a decent argument.

The child’s doctor is often not given his due importance by parents. Usually the doctors are overscheduled and finding enough time just to meet them seems like an arduous task to most parents. However, effective communication with the family doctor or the specialist taking care on one’s child could have a lot of advantages, especially when trying to find out what is best for the child’s health and getting an insight into the way a child thinks or any secrets that the child may be keeping from his parents. Doctor-Parent Relationship Health information is more readily available than before and parents keep themselves informed via the internet, books and TV. This is a welcome change, because now parents can contribute in their child’s healthcare. However, the parents might do too much of their own thinking and get hooked on to misplaced health information. Parents shouldn’t question the authority of the doctor based upon such information. However, they should ask the doctor about the purpose of a medication or a health plan he has prescribed for the child. Another common problem that parents have with the child’s doctor is their own unwillingness to trust the doctor’s diagnosis. Such hypochondriac parents may seek expensive or high-strength drugs for common ailments of their child and may start arguing with the doctor. Communicating with the Doctor For better communication with the child’s doctor, the parents should be clear about what to expect from the doctor. A concerned but informed parent should look upon a doctor to • Help in monitoring the child’s health. • Explain the child’s growth and development patterns – physical and emotional. • Diagnose and treat the child’s illnesses and devise a health regimen for the child. • Explain the child’s illnesses and the course of treatment including the precautions. • Provide referrals for specialists in case of specific symptoms or major illnesses. Some pointers for parents — • The doctor should feel that the parents actually trust him with their child’s health. It isn’t a wide decision to argue with the doctor for each of his decisions or diagnoses. Developing and maintaining this parent-doctor trust is very critical. • When the doctor asks about the child’s health, the parents should explain the actual and not ‘supposed’ concerns, specifically and clearly. • Parents should tell the doctor about any abnormal symptom the child has shown or drastic changes in the family life like parent’s divorce or death in the family.

Time-out is basically a disciplining strategy that can be employed by parents. Here, the child is asked to spend a few moments, usually 4 to 7 minutes, alone in a room. He is asked not to play or talk but rather think about what he/she has done wrong and why the punishment is being handed out. This is a form of self-realisation and a mild disciplining tool. Time-outs can be very effective as a non-violent and not-too-harsh punishment. The fear of hurting the child is eliminated. The concept is based on evoking the feelings of guilt to make the child realise his mistake. Temperamental Parenting? Many parents have realised that time-outs don’t work for their child. This is because of different individual temperaments. Temperament-based parenting doesn’t insist upon using time-outs. Every child is unique and has a different personality. Temperamental parenting is able to solve some child-related problems that time-outs don’t seem to. Stuck with Time-outs? Repetitive behavioural pattern isn’t solved by using repetitive time-outs. These can easily frustrate a parent as they occur often and a similar punishment, i.e. using a time-out doesn’t solve the problem. If a child consistently fails to bring home the things needed to do an assignment, the parents are left feeling helpless. A repetitive time-out pattern could make the child lose confidence in the parent’s capabilities. Temperament-based Parenting Strategies Temperament-based strategy encourages the parents to develop a plan which is communicated to the child. The plan includes a signal or verbal reminder as the primary step. In cases of non-compliance, taking away a privilege from the child is recommended. If the misbehaviour still continues more privileges including allowances and playtime are taken away. Main Principles of Temperamental Parenting • Temperament also involves the intrinsic parts of a child’s behaviour pattern. • Many temperament responses are obvious because they manifest due to a child’s behaviour. • Temperament is more apparent in circumstances that involve a sudden change or stress. Challenging situations elicit more honest temperamental responses. • Task persistence is nothing else but a child’s tendency to stick with a task until it’s done. • Negative reaction is because of the child’s inability to make suitable judgements. • Temperament doesn’t change easily and quickly. • Approach and withdrawal are the child’s first reaction to new situations.

Most individuals, including children, tend to develop a preference for one kind of learning style over another. The vast majority of children respond better to the visual path of teaching. The second most preferred medium of instruction is auditory. People usually use a combination of visual and auditory modes to impart education. However, it is necessary to recognise what kind of learning inclination or style does the child have which in turn is a direct reflection of his way of thinking. Your Child has Learning Difficulties? Difficulties usually arise when a child’s preferred educational mode of instruction gets blocked. For example, a child may be suffering from visual problems like focusing on what is being instructed or he has problems in the eye-brain pathway. Again, a child who depends heavily on hearing something to be interested in it may be suffering from some kind of an auditory problem. It is advisable to make sure that the child isn’t facing any of such issues. Verbal or Visual Learning? Children could also have a learning style that could be mainly described as being verbal which means that they have a thought processes that takes place in the verbal domain or they could have a principally visual mode of learning which means that their thought processes mainly functions in the pictorial representation format. Those with a verbal style of learning tend to react better to lesson being read out aloud in the classroom. Those with a more visual mode will react better to detailed illustrations and drawings that accompany text. Such students are much better at observations and drawing inferences. A visual learner is a student who learns much better well from a stimulus presented to him, invariably a stimulus which can be seen, not just instructed or ‘told’ to him. This kind of a student learns more by looking around and observing his surroundings. Individual Preferences There are other factors which contribute to a complete assessment of an individual’s preferred style of learning. Such factors are the actual, conscious and voluntary choices of a student or any learner. Some children may prefer the independent way of studying, i.e. without the company of some friends or classmates while some vs. are dependent learners, i.e. when asked to study alone they tend to get anxious by the mere feeling of being alone in a study room. Buzz up!

Reading aloud to children is the most fundamental aspect of nurturing a young, growing reader. Reading aloud is very beneficial for children, especially the really young ones. By listening to stories, a sense of curiosity regarding reading and books is created within them. A child whose home environment includes listening to well-read, animated stories is likely to develop an affinity for creativity, reading and in general for books. Where to Read? Try and locate natural and interesting reading spots like under a tree or at a nearby park. Inside the home, try and read to the child before bedtime. In the child’s room by spreading a soft cushion on the floor. In the backseat of the parked family car. When to Read? Start as early as possible. Reading aloud helps to quieten a weeping baby and to entertain a gloomy one. Continue to read aloud even after the child has learnt to read himself. There are always words and parts of the text he won’t be able to comprehend and there the parent’s involvement again becomes very important. Special time should be set aside, every day, to read out for the children. This could be just before naptime or at bedtime. During times of family visits, for example at a family breakfast, at the grandparent’s place. During daily household chores. The child could be asked to read when the parents are cleaning the dishes. The child could be asked to read from the morning newspaper, while the parents are having their breakfast. A child\’s reactions have to be judged. Children getting restless when being read to, mean they are losing interest. Try and evaluate if the settings of the reading place are affecting his interest levels. What to Read? There is a wide choice available to a parent. Special children books are available. Other sources include magazines and newspapers. Parents could also include on-the-spot reading like that of road signs, menus and catalogues and billboards. There are many rhymes and songs especially meant for children. Children love to hear and swing to rhythmic poems and even jingles. Young children also enjoy picture books accompanied with stories and colourful illustrations. Parents have a wide range of selections and it is necessary to keep introducing new themes and characters to keep the young readers engrossed. Newspapers also offer a lot of stuff that can be used for slightly elder children. These include choosing articles with smaller sentences. Being flexible is necessary. If the child doesn\’t enjoy the book being read, it makes sense for the parent not to be stubborn and try some new reading material.

A home library doesn’t need to be very elaborate or costly to impress upon a child. Fancy and expensive books needn’t necessarily be the only way to capture a child’s imagination. A family should have the suitable reading material, presented in the right manner so that approaching the library and reading becomes easier for the child. Setting up a Library It is not the size of a home library but its location and appearance that is more significant. Simply, a corner of a room with lots of bookshelves, some comfortable seated furniture and good artificial and natural lighting are the prime requisites. Size of the Library The size would vary according to the number of books which are stored or placed in the library. The special interest and fondness of each family member should be taken care of and the library should be arranged in such a way that there is enough space for books pertaining to each kind of liking expressed by the family members. For children, books should be stocked in terms of present and further reading material and the library should be big enough to comfortably choose and browse through the books they are fond of. Display of the Library There is a wide range of objects which can be manipulated or used to build up a family library. These include new or used bookcases with some built-in shelves and even open magazine racks. These provide an easy-to-approach display for the books which is essential to attract a child. The reading material for children should be placed on the lowest of shelves. Children books should be grouped together and some other interesting reference books should be placed next to them, just to fire the curiosity of the child. Making Small Family Libraries Other common things that can be used to create a rather small family library include, • Cinder-block Bookshelves — cinder blocks, small decorated bricks or particle-board shelves can be found at any hardware store. These blocks can be arranged on top of each other and then a shelf can be placed on them, giving it a bookshelf-like appearance. • Crate Bookcases— these are perfect for stacking children’s books. Plastic crates are available in varying sizes in most departmental stores. The child can be asked to paint and decorate the crate. These make very durable, cheap and easy-to-maintain bookshelves.

Human development is a continuous process and begins very early in the human life. Every individual, from the time of birth, undergoes physical, behavioural and emotional changes. Similarly, children in the age group of four-to-five, have specific developmental changes and any deviation from them should be checked out with the family doctor. Recognising Physical Development in Children For children in the age group of four-to-five there are some normal physical developmental characteristics that a parent needs to know. • Children in this age group grow at a slower rate than infants and toddlers. Usually their body organs grow faster than the body. This usually gives the preschoolers a rounded-tummy appearance. • Their height should at least 50 percent of their adult height and the body weight should be 20 percent of the adult body weight by the age of five. • Most children at this age develop their motor skills and can skip, run and climb. • Most of trained preschoolers are able to tie their shoelaces, buttons and draw rough but recognizable figures. • Have an increased lung capacity and develop the tendency to breathe more deeply. • Most of these children have lost or are in the process of losing their ‘baby look’ as the limbs grow longer. • Children of this age group will look about the same size — regardless of the gender. • There is a remarkable increase in the overall physical condition and some resistance to germs and repeated infections is also present. However, such developing immunity is very subjective among preschoolers and may vary with each of them. Cognitive Development in Children Aged 4 to 5 • They interrelate with and learn more about their surroundings much better through playful activities rather than being taught or instructed. • They start to realise their home and family members through exploration and inquisitiveness. • Begin to show signs of more affection for a particular family member or a caregiver. • Start to follow and understand basic rules — the first signs of accepting authority. • Understand and start of follow regular activities like brushing their teeth and washing hands. Emotional Development in Children Aged 4 to 5 • They do rely on caregivers but don’t need constant physical contact like toddlers. • They continue to express emotions and begin to return hugs, kisses and respond very physically to people. • Begin to develop affinity for certain children of their age group — a precursor of their tendency to start recognising preferences and developing relationships. • Learn to recognize foods that don’t taste good and start to associate with smells of foods they don\’t like.